东林书院

Hi,space,sorry to be back so late that you have put on a new face quite differing the style i like.

 

it's so hard to describe what i'm thinking since so much occured to some ones i really concerned this week.

 

first,my roomate the guy i personlly think is one of those i can turst changed his gf.the position was replaced by a virgin but he kept the sex relationship with the ex...moreover,after the angel fell to the groud by my roomate she was determined to say goodbye for no reason...the same day ex came back and life reversed as before just like nothing happened.they still ml ignoring i'm hardworking with my awful master exam.another shock i got is they told me that they had made an abortion which means they killed a child.omg,it's true life  that i thought would only happened in my blithering novel.it seems that the master exam in 30 days is nothing to the guy.whatever i said,i couldn't persuadue him to concentrate himself on the priority.i have to say life is out of  control totally.

 

second,i got mom's urgent phone call this morning when i was yet absorbed in a fantasitc dream that my aunt passed away and i must go to the hospital ASAP.it was  the worst news of Y2008 to me.i was at a loss when i saw the body and the tearing persons around.i mean i was unawared and unprepared for the whole things.it was just tuesday that i went to see aunt lying on the same bed.she was so fine i swear to god i saw it.when i helped her dress on the socks she smiled and praised me that i was qualified to be a good handsome husband in near future.it was just yesterday that mun told the operation was so successful to be regarded as a teaching case and aunt had already begining to eat what she wanted.and today what i saw is such a messy vision.people cry almost everyone and every second.i guess that it reminded mom of her unfortunate childhold that grandmother passed away when mom was at the same age as aunt's only daughter.what impressed me most was uncle hold one hand of aunt and said we three together while my sisiter hold the other.i could nearly felt the heartbroking.it is love and it is life.

 

maybe as Heros told us it was our destiny.we are unable to change anything.

 

PS i have made up of my mind not to watch Heros any more before the exam except season 1.it is obviously i got American TV series Syndrome again.how can you imagine a man like me is  writing a log in english and talk with roomate in english...

 

time to sleep.

不是我不想睡，我怕睡著了會夢不到你。

醒著，至少可以思念。

这几天的心情还不错，只是有一点迷茫。

站在这个十字路口，你以为你已经确定直走并迈开脚步，却发现其实你已经转弯了。

cold call、translation、excel，intern必备三步曲，习惯这样的生活。

每天化两个小时在路上，上班，下班，看着人来人往，虽然总是走得最快的那个。

开始思考这样值得还是不值得，尤其是在地铁车厢里被挤来挤去的时候。

只是，在一个前面是淮海路后面是新天地的office里，真的没有资格这么矫情。

确实，某种意义上，已经很幸福了。

什么consulting，说到底，还是marketing。

无非是用MS office取代机器去produce叫.doc .ppt .xls的东西。

既然有pruduct，就必然要marketing，天下最自然不过的道理。

marketing，驾轻就熟，但是恨之入骨。

因为它，我开始甚至开始讨厌说话，烦人。

上海天气很坏，什么时候下班就什么时候下雨，连续被淋湿。

下班穿小路时走过了，就走了另一条不熟悉的小路，走到头时发现，铁门锁了。

估摸了一下，大概三米不到的样子，还好，于是穿着西装背着红点包淋着雨翻了过去。

纵身跳下，凌空的片刻，感觉在飞翔。

已经，很久，没有这样嬉戏过了。

脑子里闪过无数个翻越过的围墙，和围墙内外的人与事。

虽然，紧接着的是重重地倒在地上，但我觉得值。

我不知道怎么了，也許是知道的，只是不知道得很徹底罷了。

這幾天一直迴避一個問題，但是到了無法迴避的時刻，依舊給不出一個答案。

怎么形容這樣的心情呢，直白些便是犯賤，隱晦些便是曖昧。

一直極力避免著，卻始終避免不了。

是該想想為什麽有這樣的一種情況了。

隱約明白，卻不甚明白，也便是不明白。

沒有會給我答案，我也給不出一個答案，於是就這樣吧。

也許，也許我會忍受不住，也許，也許我會硬生生地挺過去。

無論何者，都非我所愿，卻兩必居其一。

這便是，循環不息的悲哀與無助吧。

不過，還是要祝她生日快樂。

RT